on cloud nine..

a blissful evening.

breathed deeply and let it out.

lately i’ve been preoccupied with both pleasant things and old conflicts.

you fell asleep and as you go into a deep slumber, i fell inlove with you, over again.

i never get tired of listening to your silence. the sound of your breathing. it may mean nothing to you but if i could only put into words the consoling feeling it gives me.

thinking of you made me write this. and as i do, something in my being felt afraid.

you know, this is who i am. if i were to look into a mirror, for sure i won’t be able to tell how in the world you did fell for me. i’d like to be seen as someone who’s easily forgotten. i just wanna do the things i want to do and make it right. just that simple. so see? there’s nothing so awesome in that. now i wonder, as i always do…what did you see?

random thoughts are again flowing into my mind. no big words or eloquent details to go with it. what i feel right now is that i love you. just that.

you’ll never understand the way i worry about you, i guess.

the way i hate hearing negative comments about you or what you do.

the way i love your laughter.

the way i love you talking to me about serious matters.

the way you scold me, and then making me feel that i am loved afterwards.

the way i miss some of the things you do for me before.

the way i hate some of your mannerisms yet loving you still with no questions asked.

the way i hate it whenever i feel you have problems that you dont share to me, telling me its how the way you are. i think i will never get used to it. i’ll just go ahead and cry it all out.

i always hope and pray that you always stay healthy and strong. physically and spiritually. always keep your feet on the ground and never let your power or influences eat you up badly, just like what “they” have thought us.

may God bless and guide you always..

*smile and hug*

(’.')?

rain,

do you know how sad i get whenever i hear your drops? but the saddest part is that my loneliness grows even fervently everytime your presence is not around. i wish you could talk to me, but all you do is pour down, little by little.

its been a week that i’m trying to console myself, keeping my hopes up. today, i just feel tired.. trying to get use to it.

how i wish you’ll drop by from where you are. wondering when will your clouds be tired of carrying you and will finally decide to let you go for a while. just for a while. then when you need to evaporate once more, ill just watch you leave.

as if it will leave me any choices anyway..

and so i say to my self: “just stay.”

quid pro quo..

some people can get their pen and paper running when they’re happy. well i guess im quite different. i get more inspired when i feel sober, low or quiet. i guess im too overwhelmed with happiness that i get speechless or self-contained when the moment is there. like my system is in a state of shock.. ha! i think im being bias right now, coz im not in that mood. now it gives weight to the knowledge ive learned from the wiseman.. actual situation is really different.

3 posts came to pass and was left abandoned in my forgetful mind, now i wanna start before i totally loose grip of it.

its been almost 7 years since ive been going to that place that gives me peace. last week was a different feeling. not that i wasnt able to feel peace, its just a simple funny feeling that i dont wanna magnify or exagerate by writing that into detail. *sweet innocent smile* when i was on my way home alone, ive notice that everyone going out from the convention were too quite. weird though, or perhaps i was just too observant that time. as if i could almost hear a pin drop with the silence i was hearing. everyone was so peaceful, or maybe just too tired to rant or chat.

so nonsense huh? no it isnt.

the second one? oh i forgot.. my disease is getting worst. *sigh* someone told me i need to practice my recalling skills. that i just cant do. i think of it as a gift, and i think he gifted with that. me? no.

now the third one.. the one that triggered me to make this post.. haaay.. dont tell me i also cant remember. *pause*

got it! i was carried away by the music ive been hearing, almost let the memory flew with it. but here it is.. i wanna go away and be happy, the way those peculiar people wants to be happy. but that will be so selfish of me. *period*

i thank God for all the things He’s giving me even though most of the time i feel astonished and undeserving of those blessings.. you can never find love like His.

i think my mood changed right now. great.

so much for my happy ending..

post deleted :p